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So it’s been quite a while since we’ve had the motivation to do any BDSMy type stuff … well other than the regular 24/7 things that I do as a slave, e.g., greet him when he gets home with a large glass of ice water, cook nutritious food, remove his shoes, etc.

I just haven’t felt “slavey” and I’m not entirely sure why.

My kid isn’t here, she’s 1500 miles away with her dad for the summer. We should be having a hedonistic German Dungeon Porn situation going on up in here.

But, alas … This summer I have felt: rudderless, exhausted, aimless, numb … with a helping of anxiety to top that off.

Himself understands.

I’m not currently having an active depressive episode, which is what makes this so confusing to me, and it’s also why I suspect I’m having a low-grade depressive episode. My doc increased my Zoloft dosage to 75mg, because I was having breakthrough anxiety … so maybe I would be having a full on “Dark Spell” without the meds.

Whatever it is, the Muse is curled up in my chest … sleeping in the fetal position. I can feel her there.

Another thing: BDSM is freaking expensive.

Although we both make a pretty good living (on paper at least), the expenses here are astronomical. We’ve decided to utilize this summer and live like monks and pay down some debt.

And every time we have a little money saved up, one of our (3…) cars shits the bed and we have to drain our savings. This has happened every month since May. I know, I know … First World Problems. I am grateful that we have 3 cars to spend our life’s savings on. 

You guys getting tired of my long-ass intros yet?

Anyway, I’m spending today getting myself into the sex-slave mindset. I have a ritual; a cleansing if you will, that I always do for my Master in order to present His Property to Himself with the utmost care.

Lately I’ve slacked off.

Yesterday I received in the mail The Hair Erazor … this is not a plug and I’m not being paid. Just giving examples here. I haven’t used it yet, I let it charge all last night. I may put up a review of it after today’s events.

Suffice it to say, I like myself groomed completely hairless. From the eyebrows down. I hate body hair, it’s itchy and makes me feel unclean.

Remember when I said that BDSM is expensive? Well, I haven’t wanted to shell out the cash for $30 (Quad Blade) razors every week or so, so I’ve let that slide for a couple of months … and HOLY SHITBALLS!

It looks like I’ve got the entirety of the 1970’s in a leg lock down there. I have not seen my pubic hair since 1998, and I had forgotten what that shit looked like.
I didn’t even let it get this out of hand when I was pregnant.

So plans for today:

  • Cook Himself a nice breakfast (even though it is currently 8:50 AM EDT) of corned beef hash and eggs. This is our Sunday ritual … I won’t eat it, though, the Muse does not like to mix food and sex.
  • Trim down this Bramble Patch circa 1972 with my Oster 7200 rotary motor clippers because, HOLY HELLL, this little Hair eRazor is no match for the Zohan.
  • Shave, shave, shave. Bare skin at last. And now I have the means of keeping it up indefinitely … this won’t happen again.
  • Tweeze my eyebrows, while sitting on the back deck in the sun, because I’m a ginger and my eyebrows are transparent and I cannot see them unless the sun is shining on them.
  • Shower, and shave the rest of my body with a regular razor.
    • I like to use Tea Tree shampoo (I used to use a body bar, but the shampoo is stronger), to cleans and shave because it’s like jumping into a York Peppermint Paddy.
    • I also like to clean my hooty-hotty with it, because YIKES! Cold/Burn ouchy, ouchy, ouchy … and it brings all blood circulation to the surface. It works with nipples as well. Kinda like Tiger Balm.
      • At this point I will be rather aroused.
  • Braid my hair, because I have a plan to surprise himself:
    • I need to figure out how to stuff my giant waist length hair into a blue bob-length wig. It’s going to take some wrangling and I can only do this with wet hair I think.
  • Make-up: I am a make-up artist, professionally trained and I did it for 20 years. Until I quit and became an office drone. Now I work in an office by myself most of the time, and I generally just apply my eyebrows and go to work (see above: transparent eyebrows).
    • So, make-up that will work with Blue hair. I will probably do black eyebrows, because matching eyebrows to fashion colors looks dumb.
  • Scented lotion. I want to smell clean and sexy. I have to get into the mindset.
  • File nails. They are getting long, and I used to keep them super long … but no longer. Can’t text or type, and I don’t like shoving long nails into my sensitive pussy anyway. Always assuming that Himself will allow me to get off, that is. 
  • Pedicure/Polish:
    • Himself has a foot fetish. I need to work on my feet.

So, that is the plan for today. You know, I used to do all of this stuff daily/weekly … it was my life. As a hairdresser I had to look fabulous every single day. My nails and toes had to be done, my hair and makeup had to be done. Now that it’s not a requirement for my job, I guess I’ve just let it all go, and I’m a little bit ashamed.