Tags
Anxiety, Bdsm, Depression, Eating Sins, tpe, Xanax and Subspace
Five Tips for Empaths to Prevent Anxiety and Depression:
I wrote here the other day, that I stumbled across this article that a (vanilla) friend of mine posted on Facebook. I generally scoff at hippy woo-woo articles, but in this case I think the hippy accidentally stumbled onto something – At least, in my experience, subs/slaves/bottoms tend to wrap their own sense of happiness and well being into that of their Other.
I know for me, there is a direct correlation into Himself’s happiness and my own. And it doesn’t end with Him (although I am better now). I’ve always been like this, taken others’ moods or ‘energies’ into myself.
My mother is like this too; we jokingly refer to ourselves as sin-eaters. We are the shoulder to cry on, and we will end up eating ourselves alive with worry, while the people we care for are able to unburden themselves and go on … I don’t mean for that to sound as negative as it seems.
[And he’ll kill me for telling you this, but Himself is the same way, so maybe it is a lifestyle thing, rather than an s-type thing? I have been known to accuse him of lacking empathy, but I think that (as the article states) he so acutely feels for others, that he has built massive walls for his own protection.]
At any rate, it’s still been gnawing at me and I thought I’d do some old school analysis of this article and see if it exactly correlates …
- Create Movement — As mentioned in the article empaths are taught early on to stifle their emotions (true for me) and as a result end up becoming emotionally constipated (I’ve said this often and often).
“We have to be willing to actually live our lives, and that starts by being brave enough to feel.” The author says that first way to do this is to create motion and to mix up daily routine of your life.Can’t get much motiony than BDSM: Jumping around, dancing, cleaning, serving, doing any task that takes one out of one’s own head.
- Practice Catharsis — The “..definition of Catharsis is the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.”
Pain is catharsis for me, so is screaming. So are orgasms. So I guess, it’s all one big ball of catharsis. Actually, I have always identified my masochistic tendencies as cathartic. Subspace is a calm place.
- Talk to your emotions — A bunch of “I feel” statement tl;dr.
I’ve been writing in a journal regularly since I was 14 years old, but even if I hadn’t, one of Judgment’s very first tasks that he assigned to me, as my Mentor was to write in a journal daily, I gather that this is quite common. (For what it’s worth, I end up talking to The Muse (the s-type part of my personality. we have entire conversations. I think I’ve written about it here before. And yes, I know she’s not a real person outside of myself.))
- Keep a clear container — (???) Empaths often worry about the future and external issues that they cannot control, leading to anxiety. Consider the things you can control, your internal self and surroundings. Keep internal and external space clean and organized.
This is a form of service to my Master and myself. Although, he is just like this and he cleans just as often if not more than I do. If our house is in chaos, our lives are in chaos. (Or in my case vice-versa, but whatever.)
- Ask for help and energetic support — Empaths tend to absorb both positive and negative emotions like mushrooms absorb flavors. “To prevent anxiety and depression, become familiar with the triggers of when you feel like it’s creeping in. And when you barely start to experience that trigger, that’s exactly when you want to ask for help.”
I think s-types are much better at this than vanillas, because our relationships (ideally) have to be more laid out on the table. A good Master knows when to push and when to coax, when to use positive or negative reinforcement. Ideally, we need to be more open about our needs purely because … survival. Although, I fail at asking for help.
So, here is my theory: Bondage and pain always alleviate my anxiety. I’m more centered and at peace with myself when we are actively ‘doing stuff’. I get antsy and depressed and anxious when we go too long between ‘happy funtimes’.
My psychiatrist also prescribed me some Xanax for generalized anxiety, and I honestly feel like Xanax makes me feel exactly like subspace.
Huh. Maybe it’s because we are Empaths. From the planet Betazed. We can get careers as useless eye candy on the Startship Enterprise and consistently state the obvious in any situation.